Grandparents share life lessons through family questions
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Elizabeth Keating’s students at the University of Texas at Austin gained a deeper understanding of World War II when they asked their grandmother about her experiences during the conflict.
Keating, an anthropology professor emerita, found that direct conversation brought history to life in a way textbooks could not. She suggests asking grandparents specific questions to move beyond familiar family stories and uncover deeper insights into their lives and perspectives.
Asking about seemingly small details, like what was considered a waste of money in their childhood home, can reveal important values and family dynamics. Mike O’Krent, founder of LifeStories Alive, notes that questions about a grandparent’s age, what they believed then versus now, can be particularly insightful, reminding younger generations of shared experiences and anxieties. Lauren Befus, of Memory Lane Jane, recommends focusing on specific settings, such as the dinner table, to unlock broader memories of family life.
These questions also allow for reflection on personal growth and unresolved questions. Claudia Johnson, a marriage and family therapist, emphasizes the importance of acknowledging that grandparents continue to evolve and have ongoing uncertainties. Cristina Rodriguez, founder of Mind&Melody, suggests asking questions not focused on the past, especially when speaking with someone experiencing dementia, to foster present-moment connection.
Ultimately, these conversations offer a chance to learn not only about family history but also about the individual behind the grandparent, and to create a reciprocal exchange of understanding.
